hello my name is
as a youngin
it was apparent something was wrong. my pre-k teachers said i was not able to speak english and I was missing my developmental markers.
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD early on but I was also diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety later on.
thankfully my mother advocated very heavily for me and got me into an early intervention program and other special education programs throughout my school years.
despite my learning disabilities and special needs, I am privileged in that I had supportive parents and had access to these services via wealth and location
I also went to private schools from 2nd to 5th grade because the local school district did not have the ability to help me in the ways i needed.
i am mentally ill.
I started therapy in 2nd grade due to extreme anxiety that chucky (the doll) would come and kill me in my sleep. I started having suicidal thoughts in 3rd grade and they got worse as I got bullied much more in 4th grade due to my autism and being a chubby kid. I also started being medicated at 9yrs old for depression and anxiety and also for ADHD.
With weekly therapy and meds, I was able to remain mostly stable until 2020 hit. In may of 2020, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, a chronic autoimmune disease.
given this and my mother also having chronic health issues, my family stayed Extremely careful during the pandemic. I did virtual school and I did not see anyone my own age in person for a year and a few months. The isolation mixed with how ass online school was, I ended up spiraling into an uncontrollable depression and flunked all of my classes.
Even with the school's best efforts, nothing was working. Thankfully we were able to blame my diabetes on this and I got a medical excuse for the semester.
I started doing better when we moved up to western mass but I never fully recovered from the pandemic. After my senior year, I went to the University of Connecticut and did well for the first semester but fell into a deep depressive spiral during my spring semester. I spent the next year at my local community college taking easy courses and taking the time to get my head back on my shoulders, one day at a time.
now i am here! (at SUNY new paltz) but every day is still a struggle and learning how to balance all of my different issues is an arduous and isolating task.
I am grateful and privileged to be able to have the support i have, not to mention the privilege to be able to be depressed without major repercussion.
also long island fucking sucks
i Hate long island... especially nassau county!!
now i have a question for you guys!!!
what are 3 things that you admire and/or love about yourself? be honest!!!
